I guess my blog is a sign of good luck and therefore I am qrriting another post so quickly. You see if you read my previous post about GIRL PROBLEMS you would have got to know that due to some foolish doings of mine I had lost contact to around 3-4 friends of mine. I usually go out for a walk everyday and today I decided to walk for a bit long. After an hour I decided that before going back home I sit in thr park across the road for some time. As I was listening to "Give Me Some Sunshine" I heard a small voice calling my name. I ignored it and took a few more steps. Then a combination of different voices shouted - "Niranjan!!!". I turned. To my left 3 girls waved towards me as they were sitting bickering about their life. With them sat a fourth who didn't show any such interest but had a small smirk on her face. I recognized them all. How could I forget them... I had just written about them all a week ago in my public web journal. They included the 3 girls who I had lost due to the fight and also the girl herself. I sat there with them for a couple of seconds that questions started to flow towards me... I was meeting them all face to face after an year or so therefore I was expecting questions like - "How are you?" or -"Hows life?". But as said in the earlier post, you just cant understand women. The first question that came to me was "Where is your dog?"... Not my fault you see... My dog is cuter than anything imaginable but I could have at least got some sympathy. Place me atleast before my dog. Nevermind. After some time the conversation changed to why I stopped apearring on WhatsApp and then back to my dog. One even preordered my dog's baby 3 years in advance. Nevertheless, what I am trying to say is that its either fate or my simple luck that just a few days after writing my blog I end up meeting all of them together. So why not try and write another blog and see if something else strikes me this time.
During this 5 minute talk with my old friends who I united with, a topic rose up which reminded me of something which I wanted to write in my blog. There is another girl Manya Sharma in my colony who studies in the girls school just opposite to my school. So this girl-friend of mine asks me that do I know Manya? In my batch in my school its almost a sin if you dont know a list of girls and I guess Manya Sharma comes in the top 3.
I had heard a lot of stories about Manya in my school and according to different sources I had got to know that she was also the girlfriend of a couple of Columbans. Then her next question was whether I know Atif Naseer... I should have expected this question coming to me. You see, like the girl hit list we have in my school , even the girls school opposite to us has a hit list and this guy Atif tops all such lists of every school. I dont know what girls see in him other than him being tall and having a decent body but every girl studying in Delhi between the age group of 14-17 must be knowing Atif. He is a celebrity.
I would like to give an example to prove my case:-
Once I was searching a girl in my colony on Facebook who barely anyone in the colony knew about and in the end when I found her I saw that we had one mutual friend. When I checked to see who it was, it was the one and only Atif Naseer. Search any girl one Facebook and you would find Atif as her friend even if he doesnt even know her.
But why am I saying all this? You see in my school if someone finds about anything interesting, it will spread in my school in about a week but if you find out that a guy has a girlfriend or even a girl-friend the news will spread in barely 2 hours. That is the problem of an only boys school. Shortage of girls. The only girls or anyone of that gender we interact with are the teachers who are usually old, fat, short and ugly( apologies to any teacher of my school reading this post.). So what happens is that if any girl comes into topic everyone becomes so damn interested. This is what I want to talk about, something I would like to call THE COLUMBAN IDEOLOGY.
The Columban Ideology is a way a person believes in what he sees and how he interprets it. The Columban Ideology was first brought up in the Columban Bible.
According to this bible you need to adheer to some beliefs if you want to call yourself a Columbanist.
BELIEF 1- A Columban can never have a friend who is a girl.
This is the primary belief and the base of being a Columban. It mainly means you cant even have one girl-friend on Facebook or any other social networking website. If you dont follow this you have to pay for it very severely. If any other Columban finds a girl-friend in your profile then she will start getting friend requests from complete strangers till iternity. As said before, due to shortage of women Columbans dont know how a girl can just be a friend and thus any girl becomes your girlfriend if she is your friend. Thus the name of the girl spreads in the school, even to the juniors as your girlfriend due to which you get mocked till your grave. The sad thing is that even if they see your cousin sister who is in your age group she would become your girlfriend till you explain literally everyone in school that she is just your cousin sister.
BELIEF 2 - A Columban can never talk to a girl.
This is one of the strictest beliefs written in the columban bible and even the school itself trains you for this. Being a boys asylum we are detached from this opposite sex due to which till we pass grade 12 we are made to talk only to men. The only scope we have of meeting this species is if we join any institute for coaching but our school doesnt appreciate this too. They teach us that you are capable of learning everything on your own due yo which you dont need to join any tution. What they dont understand is that if they dont let us go in such classes we would become dumb when we join a college until we join another boys asylum after 12th. My school doesnt even learn from its mistakes. If this keeps on going we would end up becoming like Rajesh Koothrapalli who was also a Columban. Anyway this training our school provides is really effective cause if you make a Columban stand in front of a girl he wont be able to speak till he is drunk. I had the advantage of talking to this breed in class 7. According to the bible if a girl comes to you and asks you anything what you have to do is give a polite smile and then run back and hide behind a pillar or anything possible. If you dont do this and anyone else is seeing you talking to this girl you start getting mocked that she is your girlfriend etc. The main pillar of the Columban Bible is that if there is any girl in your life, she is your girlfriend.
BELIEF 3 - Never give a phone number of a girl to any Columban.
If there is a rare case that you have a number of a girl who you know well, never entrust the number to any other Columban or show the number in accident. Doing this could be absolutely fatal. A phone number is something which goes viral the fastest in St. Columba's. If you do the mistake of giving a girl's number to a Columban you will start seeing the number everywhere, from the class blackboard to your uniform. Not only this, because of your mistake the girl would have to live a life filled with prank call on your name. Everyday she would start recieving calls from random people saying that they are you and talk all sorts of crap. This will not only ruin your friendship,it may lead to destroying your friendship with this girl.
BELIEF 4 - Never chat with a girl on WhatsApp
Whenever you have an outing with other Columbans you will always take your phone with you and your friend will check your phone. It is pretty obvious that he will stumble upon WhatsApp. This could be fatal too. If he opens it and sees you have a conversation with a girl he will read the complete conversation and most probably text something stupid back to her which may start a fight between you and her.
The same will occur if you give your Facebook password to any other Columban.
If you follow all these beliefs you can proudly call yourself a true Columban. I sadly have defied all these beliefs at least once in my life so I do know what are the concequences of defying them. If you are not a Columban and you do adhere to all these beliefs then you should probably change your school to Columba's.
During our class 10 graduation all those who had gone against the Bible were awarded by the name of their respective girls whose name they had made viral in their school being written on a blackboard. So approximately 200 names of girls were written on one blackboard and the photo was posted on Facebook for everyone to see. So I am warning you all right now, dont even try to defy these beliefs.
As for me , I have already paid the price.
During this 5 minute talk with my old friends who I united with, a topic rose up which reminded me of something which I wanted to write in my blog. There is another girl Manya Sharma in my colony who studies in the girls school just opposite to my school. So this girl-friend of mine asks me that do I know Manya? In my batch in my school its almost a sin if you dont know a list of girls and I guess Manya Sharma comes in the top 3.
I had heard a lot of stories about Manya in my school and according to different sources I had got to know that she was also the girlfriend of a couple of Columbans. Then her next question was whether I know Atif Naseer... I should have expected this question coming to me. You see, like the girl hit list we have in my school , even the girls school opposite to us has a hit list and this guy Atif tops all such lists of every school. I dont know what girls see in him other than him being tall and having a decent body but every girl studying in Delhi between the age group of 14-17 must be knowing Atif. He is a celebrity.
I would like to give an example to prove my case:-
Once I was searching a girl in my colony on Facebook who barely anyone in the colony knew about and in the end when I found her I saw that we had one mutual friend. When I checked to see who it was, it was the one and only Atif Naseer. Search any girl one Facebook and you would find Atif as her friend even if he doesnt even know her.
But why am I saying all this? You see in my school if someone finds about anything interesting, it will spread in my school in about a week but if you find out that a guy has a girlfriend or even a girl-friend the news will spread in barely 2 hours. That is the problem of an only boys school. Shortage of girls. The only girls or anyone of that gender we interact with are the teachers who are usually old, fat, short and ugly( apologies to any teacher of my school reading this post.). So what happens is that if any girl comes into topic everyone becomes so damn interested. This is what I want to talk about, something I would like to call THE COLUMBAN IDEOLOGY.
The Columban Ideology is a way a person believes in what he sees and how he interprets it. The Columban Ideology was first brought up in the Columban Bible.
According to this bible you need to adheer to some beliefs if you want to call yourself a Columbanist.
BELIEF 1- A Columban can never have a friend who is a girl.
This is the primary belief and the base of being a Columban. It mainly means you cant even have one girl-friend on Facebook or any other social networking website. If you dont follow this you have to pay for it very severely. If any other Columban finds a girl-friend in your profile then she will start getting friend requests from complete strangers till iternity. As said before, due to shortage of women Columbans dont know how a girl can just be a friend and thus any girl becomes your girlfriend if she is your friend. Thus the name of the girl spreads in the school, even to the juniors as your girlfriend due to which you get mocked till your grave. The sad thing is that even if they see your cousin sister who is in your age group she would become your girlfriend till you explain literally everyone in school that she is just your cousin sister.
BELIEF 2 - A Columban can never talk to a girl.
This is one of the strictest beliefs written in the columban bible and even the school itself trains you for this. Being a boys asylum we are detached from this opposite sex due to which till we pass grade 12 we are made to talk only to men. The only scope we have of meeting this species is if we join any institute for coaching but our school doesnt appreciate this too. They teach us that you are capable of learning everything on your own due yo which you dont need to join any tution. What they dont understand is that if they dont let us go in such classes we would become dumb when we join a college until we join another boys asylum after 12th. My school doesnt even learn from its mistakes. If this keeps on going we would end up becoming like Rajesh Koothrapalli who was also a Columban. Anyway this training our school provides is really effective cause if you make a Columban stand in front of a girl he wont be able to speak till he is drunk. I had the advantage of talking to this breed in class 7. According to the bible if a girl comes to you and asks you anything what you have to do is give a polite smile and then run back and hide behind a pillar or anything possible. If you dont do this and anyone else is seeing you talking to this girl you start getting mocked that she is your girlfriend etc. The main pillar of the Columban Bible is that if there is any girl in your life, she is your girlfriend.
BELIEF 3 - Never give a phone number of a girl to any Columban.
If there is a rare case that you have a number of a girl who you know well, never entrust the number to any other Columban or show the number in accident. Doing this could be absolutely fatal. A phone number is something which goes viral the fastest in St. Columba's. If you do the mistake of giving a girl's number to a Columban you will start seeing the number everywhere, from the class blackboard to your uniform. Not only this, because of your mistake the girl would have to live a life filled with prank call on your name. Everyday she would start recieving calls from random people saying that they are you and talk all sorts of crap. This will not only ruin your friendship,it may lead to destroying your friendship with this girl.
BELIEF 4 - Never chat with a girl on WhatsApp
Whenever you have an outing with other Columbans you will always take your phone with you and your friend will check your phone. It is pretty obvious that he will stumble upon WhatsApp. This could be fatal too. If he opens it and sees you have a conversation with a girl he will read the complete conversation and most probably text something stupid back to her which may start a fight between you and her.
The same will occur if you give your Facebook password to any other Columban.
If you follow all these beliefs you can proudly call yourself a true Columban. I sadly have defied all these beliefs at least once in my life so I do know what are the concequences of defying them. If you are not a Columban and you do adhere to all these beliefs then you should probably change your school to Columba's.
During our class 10 graduation all those who had gone against the Bible were awarded by the name of their respective girls whose name they had made viral in their school being written on a blackboard. So approximately 200 names of girls were written on one blackboard and the photo was posted on Facebook for everyone to see. So I am warning you all right now, dont even try to defy these beliefs.
As for me , I have already paid the price.
2 comments:
Dude quite the contrary....every Columban defies these beliefs...and you know that or a fact .
However the points are pretty much accurate esp. the last belief. Nyc one :P
and also...y u no come on whattsapp?!?!
Well the hings about Atif also seem accurate... :P :P make sure he doesnt read that. :P
First of all, a well delivered expression. Secondly, I would like to say, that half the specimens of the opposite species that we happen to encounter are the social birdies of the neighbouring institution. Roughly, 75% of the opposite specimens happen to absolutely stare when a good looking or well built Columban walks by. And I have been informed by reliable sources that they have a similar thought process. So we are sailing in the same boat as them. But still, good luck.
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