The Columban 14-15 | Prologue

Its here! Its here! Everyone I am proud to announce the release of The Columban 2014-15. For those who don't know what ' The Columban' is, it is St. Columba's School's annual school magazine. Then you may wonder why I am so excited about an annual occurring... Well you see, I was given the privilege to work with a team of my own batch mates and design this brainchild of ours.
I still remember those span of 2 weeks when I would be so worried about all the application submissions to my interviews with Mrs. Pharasi (the magazine coordinator). Then one fine morning a whole bunch of eager students were collected in front of the notice board - many with disappointing faces, some with faces of joy. As my eyes fell on the board I saw a simple white sheet of paper with a few names written on it and the title 'Editorial Board 2014-15'. My heart raced, excitement flowed through my veins but a pinch of fear brewed as well. As soon as the crows cleared I was able to read the list of names -
Aviral
Shlok
Jimmy
Sanchit
Bharat
Saksham
Animesh
Shreyas
Arnav
Shubhangam
Paarth
NIRANJAN
Ishaan
Shivam
Vangmay
Libin

I stood there emotionless as I didn't know how to express my happiness and excitement. I walked back to class still succumbing to the news and hopting it wasn't a horrific dream as people came in to congratulate me. I was finally in the Editorial Board, something I had dreamed of since I got my first magazine right in class 1. Those pages felt magicalto as as I used to leaf around them mainly looking just for my photograph. Then i would stumble upon the last few pages of the magazine which displayed a series of people who looked so cool(sic). I even remember how I came home and asked my brother who these people were and he explained it to me - "They are the bhaiyyas who have put in a lot of effort to make this magazine you are reading. One day your photo should be there as well."

My dream had come true, finally I would be having a role in the making of The Columban. But I had no clue of how tough this journey really would have been.

DISCLAIMER : As this a journey stretching over more than 365 days, it has already been warned that these are going to be a VERY LONG series of posts yet only a very few words compared to the truth. Therefore for convenience of the author and the readers, these posts have been divided into chapters and will be posted separately. This may take time therefore to know about the complete journey through purgatory you would require a lot of patience. Sorry if waiting for chapters is an inconvenience, its just its impractical to post a 30 page long post. Also, this will be a version of the truth hindered in between because of the fact that I can't be completely blunt about some people on an online portal. This is one amongst the 17 perspectives you can have over how the magazine came into making; for the other 16 versions please contact the respective individuals and motivate them to take out time from their bust study schedules to start blog and write a post on the EdBoard. Anyways, the journey begins.


PROLOGUE
This is the time when The Columban 2013-14 was in its process of finalization and the previous EdBoard were on their toes, extending their submission dates and trying to get the magazine of theirs over with. While their magazine was taking shape, our first EdBoard meeting was held. As i met the other 15 partners of mine I thought to myself - 'Where do I fit amongst this crowd? Am I the thinker? Am I the mediator? Am I the brains? Am I the leader? Or am I just one amongst the equal workforce?'
There were many in the EdBoard i knew by name and face but had never got an opportunity to 'properly' converse with and bond well with. Lets take everyone one after the other (you can wish fully skip this part if you feel like it :P )
 1. Aviral - One of those people I knew for a long time but never got an opportunity to work with, not because I wasn't given a chance to work with him, but because he wasn't the kind of person I could work. This was simply because we had very conflicting ideas and interests. We both could always find better people to work with and then compete against.
 2. Shlok - Shlok was a very unique character in our batch but a person I barely knew before the EdBoard. I always knew about him but we never got shuffled into the same section in junior grades and never got an opportunity to talk to. But I was always interested in working with "the Shlok Gupta. Such a popular figure in our batch (for a very different reason ) and a person you could always spot smiling and laughing while he clutched onto one of his friends.
 3. Jimmy - Another person I really wanted to know but never got an opportunity. The only times we talked used to be during football matches and when people started equating all Mallus (yes, I as well as Jimmy are from Kerala if you haven't deciphered it yet). He was one of those whose brother had worked in the EdBoard previously and had a clue of how it all works and thus was really excited to work with him.
 4. Sanchit - A person I used to avoid in the middle school as I equated him to being one of the complete nerds topping in every single subject not realizing that some other classmates equated me to being a nerd as well. Later did  I realize that he was someone completely different from how I had imagined him to be. The first time we properly conversed was I guess during the interviews for Columban Of The Year but that was a conversation between enemies rather than a talk between foes.
 5. Bharat - Bharat was one of those really close friends I had in the 8th, 9th and 10th grade. Such a great and sweet guy by heart and soul, it was always tough to spot a flaw in him. One of those innocent guys who could even make the bullies shut up and apologies to him if he fealt like it. Also the backbone behind Solstice (if you dont know what it is, its better you dont know xD)
 6. Saksham - He used to be one those guys I always saw in the clutches of Shlok. A great dancer, I used to respect him from the very beginning and he has been gaining respect ever since. Unfortunately, never had a proper conversation with him other than giving him duties as a headboy.
 7. Animesh - Animesh, Animesh, Animesh. Where do I begin? I knew this fat cute teddy for such a long time he feels like a brother. I remember how in class 5, the both of us were selected by Mrs. Pandey to be the prefects of our class and later we realized that prefects were onlt there from class 6 and above. From then our friendship strengthened till the time we got shuffled later. But we ended up working in the FilmIt core group later so all was back to square one with our friendship rekindling again. The sad part was that even after knowing him for more than 5-6 years, only when I came to 11th did I get to know that his mom is a teacher in our school and luckily she became my maths teacher.
 8. Shreyas - One of my closest friends who I had met only in class 9. Our batch's prodigy, he was an amazing programmer already having 2 applications of his own in the Google Play Store. Such an innocent guy by his appearance, he is a person who is always ready for some mischief here and there whenever required. Our Batch's greatest computer geek he was one of those people I expected the most in the list of EdBoard members.
 9. Arnav - Hey bestie!!!(Honestly I don't know if you are even reading this xD) To all those people who don't know him well, I'll just give you 1 advice - don't judge him based on his first impression. The cover may be different but the pages inside tell a completely different story. He wasa guy I considered to be one of those 100% nerds who can't think of anything but studies but he was the only guy I knew even a bit when I saw my section of other 52 strangers in class 11. Thus I started talking to him and then did it strike me that this guy was a living gem to be your friend. Such acreative mind and having an amazing sense of humor, he is the perfect blend of a perfect student and an absolute thug. Arnav is one of those people who will be the most entertaining person if he decides to open up to you.
 10. Shubhangam - I only knew him because of our Art teacher Mrs. Dasmana who used to assign the both of us to do various projects and designing the foyer/auditorium boards for various events. Therefore at least I knew the fact of him being an AMAZING artist.
 11. Paarth - An amazing guy with a great sense of understanding and humour it was always enjoyable and fun to stay with him and have a conversation with him. There are so many memories I will always have with me and they at many instances have Paarth in it. I was aware of his great control over his English and language and thus was expecting him to be in the EdBoard. A great artist as well I was curious to see if he had been selected for his artistic skills, literary skills or both.
 12. Ishaan - I don't know what to say about this guy. I'll try being as honest as possible. Ishaan was a complete stranger for me till class 10 when we met in the FilmIt core group but that never functioned therefore we still remained strangers to each other. I had no clue of what kind of a person he is and i didn't want to know but i believe it was a mistake I made trying not to know this tall computer genius (at least that's what i used to believe). I never knew about his traits and about his personality till we worked together in the EdBoard and I changed my school bus to his. From then on I got to know about this guy and I imagine how I used to survive a day without this guy beside me. In a span of barely 2 years, I have become close to him more than anyone I know. An amazing designer, he is the most practical person I have ever seen who can think of things without bringing emotions in between his decision.
 13. Shivam - I don't know what more I can say about this champion. I have basically written a whole blog post about him and he knows I can't express my respect for him in any words possible. The one thing that made working with him great was the fact of our collaboration in Solstice. Our novel, which we wrote together didn't reach the heights we wanted it to as it wasn't published but now we got an opportunity to work together again as a team, a duo and create our brainchild which would be published. I can't think of a single thing in school in which we both haven't together been a part of.
 14. Vangmay - One guy whose selfies have raided over my phone gallery for the past one year. When I first heard about Vangmay in 8th or 9th it was because of how different a person he was and is. After I got to know him did I realize that in many ways we were both similar. The craziest member in the EdBoard he was our source of jokes, amusement and entertainment. I can't imagine our EdBoard WhatsApp group without his presence.
 15. Libin - A lot can't be said about this silent worker who hid behind the shadows and did what he had to do perfectly. I barely knew him as his body language spoke for him more than his voice. Such a nice guy by heart, he always kept to himself and barely spoke in a group. Instead his expressions told us what he felt like. Libin was one of those people who i really was interested in to work with as he was the most different amongst the EdBoard.

The Editorial Board 2014-15 (Aviral Kabra and Arnav Aggarwal missing in photo... really sorry)

With 16 different characters in the same team, this had to be a wild journey and it obviously was. The main aspect to it was also the our coordinator Mrs Pharasi who was at a point very mysterious and scary to all of us.

That first meeting was one where all were at their best, trying to convince Mrs. Pharasi of the fact that they were worthy to be the Editor's In Chief. But as inexperienced as we were, ma'am cared more about deciding on a theme for the magazine. After pondering over different titles and ideas and older magazines we initially came up with cliched themes including "The Columban Life". Our main issue was the fact that the EdBoard 2013-14 weren't disclosing their theme even to us which created the problem of overlapping themes. After a lot of discussion Aviral wrote down all the themes we had short listed but the most prominent and promising amongst the list was "Superhereos/Comics".  With out great Aviral maintaining a diary with all information about our meetings - from the attendance to the points discussed  there was absolutely no job let for us till we got hold of The Columban 2013-14.
Soon came the release of The Columban 2013-14 and the real beginning of the making of The Columban 2014-15.


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Next Post :-
CHAPTER 1 - THE COLUMBAN 2013-14 

Toxic Seasons

With the pain, the sorrow , the grief, the dishonor
All brewed to make a luxurious  poison.
Knowing its effects you drank it all
Now get ready to face the toxic season.


You will drown, will burn, will crumble, will break
And stand back up just to again disintegrate.
Knowing you're helpless but you wont give up
But accept the fact this all was fate.


With cries, with shrieks, with noise and then with silence
The mind morphed into a living hell.
Knowing what it thought you still stayed there
Till this time when u were pushed and fell.


The soul it thought, it spoke, it heard, it fought
But all just fell on a million deaf ears.
Knowing that for them you don't exist
It just made you die in your own  searing fears.


You got cut, got dismembered, got rot, decayed
For your soul to rest in peace none would pray.
Knowing that your soul made its journey to hell
Your skull lay on the barren earth with nothing to say.

The Puppeteer

Scared from the world alone was he;
With no soul inside to rest in peace.
All those around him, none could see,
The anger in him broiled- but he did cease.




He did try to stand up to the rest
But the human indomitable spirit always pushed him back.
Even when his puppet would do its best,
Its the puppeteer whose threads would slack.




The world being a stage as told by many,
He was never in the shining spotlight.
Digging his grave because he didn't have a single penny,
With only a crumbling future of false hopes in sight.




None understood the beast that consumed him,
For it was none other than his own creation.
This beast had waited for this very moment to trim
The aspirations of it's host to build is own domination.




Giving up all hopes he crumbled and rot
The grave diggers already singing their symphony
But this new force he met inside him fought
The beast to save its viscous integrity




"Oh! Who art thou that wish to protect me?
Me -the one who has no future ahead.
Oh! Who art thou that can possibly see through me,
And all my flaws thou help me shed?"




"Don't worry for thy don't deserve such pain,
But what you seek is really love.
And now that I am here to destroy thine everlasting strain
Soon thine soul will be as free as a dove."




Her voice moved his body, changed his soul,
The puppeteer had now regained control.
Her impact on his disintegrated life already took is toll
For now he became a new man with a brand new role.




Was it her presence that changed who he was?
Or the unconditional love he received from this beauty?
Whatever it were it gave him a cause,
To surpass the rest of this indomitable world and do his duty.




He crushed them all and stood at the very pinnacle
And all could just stand and admire his hardship
But it was because of someone else that this became a spectacle
And for the first time the puppeteer started a threadless relationship.

Its time to say goodbye...

Happy new year to all. Well isn't this a great start to a blog? A five month late wish. It is something you will have to deal with it you are free enough to read a blog of a twelfth grade science student. With no time to spare for enjoying, blogging was way back in my to do list during the first five months of 2015. But here I am writing a blog and some science students may even be imagining how I got the time to write this.
This is for all my batchmates. Last year in St.Columba's. Gonna miss you guys a lot




When this journey had begun
All we cared to have was fun,
Never had we imagined that this day would come
Where we would have to say bye to many but some.
Oh I still remember those days when we laughed at another's pain
When our mind and heart were too vain
Oh but still did we enjoy those days when your bottles were our trademarks
And when recess mattered more than marks.
Well those days have passed when friendship was sharing a bar of chocolate,
When there were no boundaries set by expectations and fate.
A time where friendships broke because of breaking your favourite pencil,
And friends were made as we moved to the cooler for bottles to fill.
Then we reached that point when we understood who all were real and who were fake
When we could see through lies and the tales they would make.
When we could understand who were the ones who would stand by you
Who would understand what is like to be in your shoe.
But then love would break the hearts on many
And you would be there to guide me more than any
Staying up all night making sure I'm fine
Making sure i don't do anything stupid and stay in line.
Then there would be those who would be your friendly nemesis
The one who you aspire to beat but will help at time of Crysis.
Who will make you realize that you are your own boss
And his win won't be your loss.
There are so many who have helped me in shaping myself
All our stories won't fit my shelf
But I can assure you that I wont forget you behind
Even though this journey ends you will be there in my mind.
Now as this commences do I realise how much you are worth
Being alongside you all these years was like sitting beside a hearth.
And as this hearth fades away we have to light it back
So our memories don't get engulfed in black.
For now I believe this was just the prologue of our story
While the rest is yet to be written,
By you and me and ask those around us
For ' happily ever after' is yet to come.

Dilwale Vote Le Jayenge!

Happy New Year and a Happy Valentine's Day to all lovebirds. As Valentine's day has fallen during the World Cup many have had to prioritize between their love for an opposite sex and love for Asian baseball-cricket. With rebellions all over my Facebook wall I wondered what the rest of the world thought about this dilemma my friend circle was in. This question of mine was answered immediately by the all knowing Google ; as I opened a new tab on my browser Google showed its daily logo depicting the World Cup. Even the Google prioritized on the World Cup over Valentine's Day. Anyways, both(World Cup and Valentine's day) not being my forte I adopted the method of studies. With my 11th finals starting day after tomorrow I preferred to sit and go through my books rather than be a lovebird to a special someone. People say you need love to be happy and that your life shines at many shades if you have a loved one to open to but there  is one simple example I have to defend my statement - my brother. If being in a relationship means sleeping 12 hours of the day and talking to your special one the other 12 , then its better to stay single and just mingle. During this past week I have encountered one of the most 'crazy-in-love' people as well as the most 'desperate' people. Talking about senseless things a few days ago as I was surfing the web I came across a very interesting theory -The Boltzmann Brain Paradox. What it basically states is that 'What we see is a figment of our imagination and that our imagination is reality.' If you google about this you will only get science-y definition which will just fly over your head but after a days of internalizing I was able to extract the true essence of this Paradox. Basically on first sight it tells us that what we see isn't true but what we imagine is the truth; but on further consideration this statement feels absolutely baseless. Our imagination being reality again brings us back to the starting of the statement making it a loop this creating a Paradox. But this isn't what the Paradox wants to convey. It mainly tells us that we try to criticize the world we live and we always imagine a perfect world where we want to live ; but in reality what we see is really what we want to see and this perfect world we imagine even though being there in front of us we block it with our image of the false reality. A bit complicated but its the simplest form of explanation you can find on the internet. Well at least this is how i see and understand this Paradox and it may not be correct but I find my understanding quiet intriguing and a thing to think about a lot. 

Being a class 11th student politics is not my forte but everyone can have their views and opinions. Already warning all readers(if any) that my view points may sound stupid and may also be senseless but its how I have seen Indian politics in the last two years. I have no clue of what all has happened in the past and have absolutely no clue of what will happen in the future but these 2 and a half years from 2013 to 2015 Indian politics has caught my eye. According to me the Boltzmann paradox applies very well in these 3 major elections we have seen in the previous two and a half years being the 2 Delhi elections and the National elections. The people of India had never been satisfied with the government of India with whatever stand they take or whatever decision they execute. Placing criticism over all other factors the citizens of India decided to have change so that they can live in this perfect world they imagine about. The movement first initiated on a National level when Narendra Modi started guiding the people of India with his aim, initiative and great oratory skills. People started admiring him  and looked at him as a new hope to reach this prefect imaginary world. The other option only being the young face Rahul Gandhi whose aim and initiative were basically his mothers just coming from the mouth of a not-so-great speaker compared to the face of the BJP who all started adoring. The Modi wave moved on across as a pan India movement also striking the people of Delhi. The only glitch being the image of people about the BJP; what people thought was reality about BJP considering their past was in reality just imagination. The next great entry was of the Aam Aadmi Party in Delhi. Out of a small series of proceeding for the passing of the Lok Pal Bill emerged a small party lead by an ordinary face Arvind Kejriwal. With an incredible entry into politics the AAP were able to communicate with the people of Delhi and see their imagination of a perfect Delhi; an image of Delhi which every common man saw and not a Delhi which was only business hungry. With a great name and a meaningful symbol AAP emerged as another option to the people of Delhi to govern them. AAP was an option where the belief of "For the people, by the people, of the people" could really become reality. As the Delhi elections of 2013 came to an end AAP in alliance with congress were able to form a government in the NCR.

 Summing up everything that happened after this was basically that after 49 days of rule AAP left the center stage because of it not being able to meet its promises. As the Modi wave continued on a national perspective BJP increasingly got its supporters and Congress came to be ignored and neglected. BJP was able to attain the majority on itself and Modi became the PM of our state. Great speakers are always seen as great leaders but in practice it may not be true. This was realized after the BJP came to power. The Modi wave even though continued and Modi did his best to bring up a better India expectations were still not met; the prefect world was still not in front of the people. With Delhi re-elections almost being around the corner BJP and AAP tried their best to campaign and get their supports. Congress being out of the question the duel was between Modi and Kejriwal, or was it? BJP came up with a new face to be their CM candidate in Delhi - Kiran Bedi, a former AAP supporter. Even though Bedi tried to campaign to her best efforts the belief still remained the same that this was a duel between Modi and Kejriwal rather than Bedi and Kejriwal. With increasing support of AAP , the national party BJP was made to overstrain their campaigning desperate to win in the NCR. With all ministers and Modi himself campaigning for Bedi the desperation was obvious. Questions and allegations were made against AAP but the AAP support was too much to overcome. The vendetta against the BJP and the invisible INC was seen during the 2015 Delhi elections. With almost every exit poll claiming AAP to get a majority with atleast 38-45 seats expectations were high. But the climax wasn't what the BJP or the AAP expected. With 67 seats to the AAP and just 3 to the BJP Kejriwal had stopped the Modi juggernaut. It wasn't really the victory of AAP but in reality the victory of the people of delhi. The citizens of Delhi were able to impetus such a small party to the very top Ravaging the national party. This was a shukuchi for the AAP and proved to all other parties and politicians of the real power of the people. 

Basically these 2 years were like a Bollywood movie. A heroic entrance of the protagonist(Kejriwal) and a frightening entrance of the villain(Modi). The deceiving win of the hero initially but then overrun by the villain. The introduction of the heroine (Bedi) and a series of raging sequences before and after the intermission. Then the heartstopping climax where in the end the villain is destroyed and the hero wins by a huge victory. The only thing is that we cant assure a happily ever after. For that we have to wait for 5 years...So I guess we have to wait for sequel of this film and we hope it becomes more interesting and better. 

After the results of the Delhi elections the BJP and INC must understand one thing -
Dilwale Vote Le Jayenge!

Science Vs. Philosophy

Its taken me some time to sit in front of my desktop and dwell into the deepest parts of my mind to discover something interesting for the Nothingness to read in my blog. My family was telling me to write about my surgery which took place and prior to the surgery that was my idea but sadly, the surgery wasn't adventurous or interesting enough to be shortlisted into the topics on which i would write a long 200-300 word blog post on. To be quiet honest i expected a lot more from my surgery. The image i had about the surgery i was going to go through and what really happened to me were like completely 2 different sides of a coin. What i had thought of was that i would go through a lot of pain the moment the effect of the anesthesia would disappear but the only pain(or feeling to be precise) was a small tingling in my throat. Also my 3 day experience in the hospital ward wasn't fun at all.(No one had ever told me that stays at the hospital ward would be cloud9 moments but i expected more interesting cases and patients around me like those patients in the TV show House but the only type of people i was around was a very old man and a very young kid.... Sounds so interesting.) The only 2 things that i hated about the surgery were that it wasted almost a week of my diwali vacations and that i had been prescribed a huge list of disgusting medicines. 

After my surgery was over my school reopened and my preparations for my 2nd term Unit Tests began which was followed by a week of long exams.  My papers ended last Friday and I had to again sit and wonder what to write on. Being a science student the only thing that usually pops into my head is something related to science which at a lot of times becomes irritating but sometimes also helps me discover stuff i never knew. Also, as my dad talks about philosophy all the time, I tend to mix my science mind with all the philosophy i learned through my own life experiences and the frequent malayalam articles my dad writes.  This made me wander around in the realm between Science and Philosophy, a place which brought up a lot of questions in my mind. Getting more interested to find what Philosophy had to do with Science, I opened a very old book I found at my place named "The story of Philosophy" by Will Durant. Even though i got bored after reaching the 100 page mark i collected a lot from it and tried to paint my own analogy between Science and Philosophy.

"So much of our lives is meaningless, a self cancelling vacillation and futility; we strive wit the chaos about us and within; but we would believe all the while that there is something vital and significant in us, could we but decipher our own souls."
This extract from the book THE STORY OF PHILOSOPHY by Will Durant defines life as a philosopher's definition but for teenagers of the 21st century this would just be a combination of complicated phrases combined to form an illogical explanation to something undefined. For a simple teenager, life would simply mean struggling to manage their scholastic and non-scholastic activities as well as in cooperation a small love-life and a large amount of meditation in the form of slumber. But the difference between the definition of life by a philosopher and a teenager isn't much. This is where the beauty of philosophy lies- it isn't something that remains a constant but is in reality a variable whose value solely depends on the perception and belief and not on reasoning and science. What a teenager experiences in his or her daily life makes them realize how the world is.

There is a large bridge between 'Science' and 'Philosophy'.
Philosophy deals with the beliefs and doesn't require reasoning while Science deals with reasoning and required proof. Philosophy questions everything - mainly life and feelings. It was philosophy that created science but it is science that destroys philosophy.  Science eliminates beliefs and applies reasoning.  Yet, philosophy answers to questions which science cannot, including emotions and feelings.

According to me, philosophy provides us explanations to the questions God couldn't answer during the creation of the universe. But when the time comes when science will be able to answer all questions it will mean  the end of the human race,a time where there will be no option of choice and only a set pattern from birth to death; an age which will be ruled by the living dead; a phase when everyone will believe in the past while living the present trying to weave a past as the future. Every person has a reason to live and it is this that distinguishes one person from another; it is this that has let humans evolve and modernize to the place we have reached at present. But this is nothing near the peak of human excellence and it is belief and the art of questioning all occurrences that will lead us to this peak. With an era where no questions left unanswered we will start living a predefined life to reach a predefined death; life of different individuals won't be of importance as the contribution of all will be the same.
The death of Philosophy will be due to Science and it will mean the death of evolution. For a simple school-going-teenager life pretty much already seems predefined but what the youth doesn't understand is that destiny is written by us and not by the Almighty. Only we have the right to hold our quill and write down our destiny. 
I don't believe in fate; what i look at is my destiny. Though they seem the same they are completely different. Fate is predefined; it tells you what WILL happen to you and not what CAN happen to you. We cant choose our fate but we choose our destiny. We define our destiny and try to reach it; Fate is independent of our decisions and beliefs while destiny solely depends on our aspirations and desires. There is only one thing which 'fate' decided in our life and that is death. Philosophy helps us look at things through different perspectives while Science focuses only on one perspective.
This is what makes the difference.  

       

Physics! Why are you messing with me?!

Class 11th is simply horrible. Not because you have to learn 2 bulky books for the final exam and also not because of that freaking huge shift in syllabus. It is simply because of a freaking sick  7 letter word which is sadly the reason why this world -

PHYSICS

Life isn't simple and everyone knows that as it wasn't supposed to be. God was probably going through some psychological trauma when he created this world but he never realized how shitty and complex the world was. Then he made the greatest mistake he could have ever done, creating the human race. Humans needed an explanation to everything and that is what has lead to the world we all live in now. After torturing the human brain for centuries human beings were able to provide the reason for everything irrelevant but nothing relevant and named it something which itself told you how sick it is - Physics. Claiming how the world runs scientists dedicated their lives trying to unravel the mysteries of the world which were results of great ideas and devotion but are of complete waste of time. I know there will be many Physics lovers sitting and reading this and you will be completely against my way of thinking but hold on to your horses, give me some more time to explain the "Physics behind this irrelevant Physics."

I would like to start from the basics we learn from class 8 and move on to the shit we learn in 11th and 12th. The first time I was introduced to Physics was through this small chapter in our class 8 textbook titled - "Friction". With many illustrations and hardly any text it look as one of easiest and most attractive chapters in our 8th grade Science textbook. What the chapter taught us was simply where we experience friction and why we experience friction. Then I saw the same chapter being repeated in class 9 but now the illustrations were replaced by half-page numericals which made us calculate when the ball will stop when rolled on a surface and how much force we need to apply to make the ball move a certain distance. It sounds helpful in real life as we dont need to experiment these situations to find the values, but wait! Then I found this small line printed beside the questions which said :

"We neglect air resistance"

So these half page numericals make us calculate values which occur only in hypothetical situations and are completely irrelevant to the real value we want. This is what scientists do; they take the assumption that the world is perfect and dedicate all their lives on calculations and theories which work only in impossible situations. 

So in conclusion what we learn in our science classes are about cases which are NEVER going to happen. 

Now we come to class 9 and 10 where we learn about the Newton's apple which destroyed many science-loving-souls i.e. Gravitation. A very simple, obvious and easy theory which Newton stated is another example of Irrelevant Physics. I again accept the fact that life on Earth wouldn't be possible without the presence of the invisible force but the irrelevance comes to the facts, laws and theories we learn about Gravitation. All the formulas Newton derived for gravitation were done under one condition which is that all external forces other than gravitational force must be ignored. So the same conclusion arises again i.e. such cases are never going to happen. An object will never be accelerating at the rate of 9.81 meters per seconds squared because of the influence of the ignored forces like air resistance, viscous friction and other crap. 

Physics till here was bearable but then came the Expressway to Hell when we enter the realm of class 11th Physics which roamed around theories and beliefs which had no relevance to common man's life. Some simple examples would be Vectors and Thermodynamics. Just to fiddle some more with the budding minds of the future generations scientists came up with the theory of Vectors, something which was, is and will be one of the most useless topics ever being taught in Physics. The simple explanation of velocity which made complete sense to us in class 10 morphed into the unknown suddenly as we enter 11th grade. What earlier used to be represented as 5km/hr to the direction North-West now turned into 3i(cap)+4j(cap)km/hr. How does this make sense and how does it create a difference?! In the end no one is going to refer to the velocity of something in reference to a cartesian plain.

  Then comes the stupidity of Thermodynamics. Physics wasn't miserable enough that they had to add another topic of complete irrelevance into its Contents page. This topic mainly includes stuff like how much energy is lost or how much heat is produced when something reacts with something at a specific temperature and pressure. If possible try to explain it to me how can knowing the amount of energy lost by a compound during its reaction with something else be of possibly any use to anyone? Even the compound itself won't care about the energy it looses but scientists have to poke their finger into everything possible. Even if it were of any use, the calculations and laws are applicable only if the reactions take place at a specific temperature and pressure but the world isn't like a science lab where everything can be controlled. 

In short I do agree that life runs around Physics, but life doesn't run around the Physics we learn all day.

Now there are some people who may say that Physics also applies is psychology and I am here to prove them wrong again. I would like to quote a Physics lover who was in a conversation with a Gandhian some time ago-

"In Physics there is this concept of Uncertainty. You can never do two things at once, if you do so both won't give the correct results, one has to be a wrong result due to the uncertainty in one of the results. Even life is like that. You can never be certain about something you do."  

 The above statement made by this Physics lover who was trying to support Physics sadly contradicts her own stand. Physics itself makes so many assumptions and tries to prove everything right without any uncertainty. Sadly, Physics has as many flaws as life and you can never be certain about the result you get. Also, defending the fact that Physics also applies in psychology I would simply like to say that Physics only works if we take the maximum number of assumptions to create the perfect environment but life isn't that simple that you can randomly make assumption to make it perfect; life cant be explained through theories and relations through mathematical calculations but can only be explained by it itself. Taking assumptions isn't an option in life as it just makes life more of a mess than it is from the start.

So to all those Physics lovers who still don't believe in the "Physics of irrelevant Physics" I have only one thing to tell you - 

 Enjoy wasting your life when you can live it a 100 times better.

May the (Mass x Acceleration) be with you.

:P